The Tao of Gaming

After an auction that will be carefully recorded and studied by necromancers and other evildoers, I got the two of spades lead ...

	Q943 Q2 852 J853
2 led
	7 AKJ4 AK94 AK76

More shocking than the lead is the discovery that we've violated Burn's Law of Total Trump. And that slam try means were in FIVE (I said the auction was bad).
Anyway, as is often the case, terrible bidding leads to interesting play. I played small from dummy, RHO played the T and the continued the ace. How to make this. Since I'm not playing at the Griffin's club and I can't see how to make by ruffing, I pitch a diamond. RHO thinks about this, as well she might, and switches to the diamond queen. The good news about terrible bidding is that sometimes everyone believes it. I win and think.
Obviously I need trumps to split and the club queen to fall doubleton. But if that happens, what about my diamond loser? After a bit, I spot the answer and said the traditional bridge player's prayer:

No one, not even you, will remember if we were good players or bad. Why we played, or why we lost. All that matters is that six trump withstood many. That's what's important! ... so grant me one request...(mumbles distribution)

I played the club Ace, and LHO dropped the Ten. Deciding to risk the ruff (probably a mistake, but showing Valor) I play the King and LHO drops the queen. I start to pull trump and suspect that my prayers have been answered with the following original hand:

	Q943 Q2 852 J853
Kxx2 xxx Jxxx QT		AJTx xxxx QT 9xx
	7 AKJ4 AK94 AK76

(Moving around some of the spots doesn't affect it). I'll pull trump (pitching a diamond and spade from dummy), the cash two clubs ending on the board, leaving —

	Q - 85 -
K - Jxx -		Don't care
	- - AK9

LHO still has to discard, and is squeezed. Making five.

RHO could have stopped my by continuing spades .... but she believed my bidding too, I guess. My revere is broken up on the third round of trump, when LHO shows out. After going down, I glance at her hand and discover that the squeeze would have worked if she'd traded her fifth diamond for another trump. To hell with you, Crom.