The Tao of Gaming

(At least, the next one after he sees my email)

From Game Informer, current issue, page 61.

"Specter wanted Oswald the Lucky Rabbit [1] to be the centerpiece of Epic Mickey. But that wasn't possible until a years-old dispute was resolved. 'Disney didn't own the rights to Oswald,' Spector explains. 'So there was no way I could use him as a character in this game.' But Bob Iger, the CEO of Disney, went to NBC/Universal, which after 80 years owned the rights to Oswald, and TRADED AL MICHAELS, a human sportscaster, for the rights to a cartoon rabbit."

(Technically this is old news, but since I hadn't heard about it, I'm assuming Simmons hasn't either).

[1] The first character created by Walt Disney (prior to Mickey).

Just now digging out from under it. Have a good weekend.

Update: This one is nastier than I thought. I'm in the process of backing up in prep for a wipe. Ugly.

My Brute needs more pupils! [This game is totally random with zero control. Surprisingly addictive. After all my hard effort, TaoffEnuff is finally formidable.... Thankfully you are only allowed 3 fights a day (more on your first), so you can't waste too much time ... unless you create more brutes.

But then I would be denied reading Sumo's words.

Let me just say, in passing, that American Airlines is a vile jobbing coxcomb, a mewling company destined for the scrapheap decades ago and only reprieved because bankruptcy law does not punish failure so much as reward incompetence. (But apparently does not rewards it enough, being too good for the numerous banks and auto builders that so richly deserve the vampire's kiss). I don't know where the fine print was that said "After paying for this ticket months in advance, we can tack on whatever fees we like at the gate" but I have high hopes that the (presumably Catholic) CEOs & Lawyers who wrote it will find themselves at the pearly gates being informed that while they had indeed confessed their sins and done penance, there were some last minute rules changes and some unpaid fees, and if they would just get in line to see the service agent (easy to spot because if his lovely tan, and screams of anguish from his satisfied customers) they'd work this out. Then St. Peter could apologize for any inconvenience.

And, say what you will about auto dealerships, but it only cost me $16 to fix having the bottom of my car fall off (not counting inconvenience). Donuts were provided, and they may have actually taken a loss on the deal. Time elapsed -- 30 minutes. Or, as I like to say, 1/3rd of a flight delay. No, wait, 1/5th. No, 1/10th. And counting.

The Boston Sports Guy has an article (including a picture) of Boston Gamer Mike Zarren (whom some of you may know). Mike is the Celtics stats guy. Nothing really interesting beyond that, though.

All props to Mike for not looking terribly dorky in that picture. It helps that he's the only in-shape guy with hair.

I've discovered secret tapes of the Battlestar Galactica's executive producers discussing what to do to wrap up BSG. Needless to say, they contain spoilers.

Lets just say that personally, I hope that's what happened. The ending is more annoying intellectually than emotionally, and Moore & Eck can claim that they've been playing up the, uh, angle they used since the first episode (true enough), but still. There were a few things I really liked about the last episode. But I'm glad it's over. I may watch the Plan. Caprica? Probably not.

I also have a secret tape of Alan Moore after he snuck out to see Watchmen, but it's just several hours of laughter and "I told them so." Not a bad flick, per se ...

So, what do your secret tapes tell you?

Update: Apologies to David Eick for misspelling his name.

Since I just got back from Orlando (with just a small sunburn, thank you very much) ...

• Disney's Line Management technology continues to improve by leaps and bounds. I wonder if it's trademarked or otherwise protected from IP, since so many people could learn from it. Even if you don't have the resources of Disney, some simple ideas should proliferate. I'm looking at the TSA here.

• Overheard in Epcoyt — "I didn't think the Amish would come to Disneyworld." "That's a cast member in a period americana costume." "Oh."

• The most powerful concept in Judaism is Afikomen. I'm glad that the Jewish Media Cabal lets Disney use this power for good ... the KimPossible missions in Epcoyt makes going through the World Showcase possible with small children.

• Favorite attention to detail moment — Epcoyt has a game where kids recycle (and otherwise save the earth). It's funded by Waste Management, so you have kid-sized garbage trucks to push around from station to station. If you pull the truck to back up, it beeps.

• Verdict on Animal Kingdom — Meh. The Safari is good. Everest Expedition (Rollercoaster) is good. Tree of Life is vaguely neat. Finding Nemo show (ala Lion King broadway, but only 30 minutes long) was ok if you like that kind of thing.

• The Land (at Epcoyt) has three attractions (apart from shops/restaurants). One is a hang-gliding simulation. One is a boat ride. One is a preachy video about conservation. Actual land gets screwed pretty hard, if you ask me.

• That video is the most bizarre thing I saw at Disney. Timon and Poomba destroy the African Plains by damming up a river .... to build a theme park. I spent the entire latter half slack jawed in amazement. It was like an addict's cry for help. "Please, for the love of God, don't waste valuable energy/land/resources on Disneyworld!" was the message throughout. And I'm completely convinced that they took 7 minutes of footage from Koyaanasqatsi and just replaced Philip Glass's soundtrack with excerpts from the Lion King.

• How come Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is gone but the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse endures? That's the saddest place in the happiest place on earth.

• The closing show in Hollywood Studios (Fantasmic!) has one of the most stunning effects I've ever seen, but blows it in the first few minutes. I spent the rest of the show waiting for it to be topped. And (Spoiler Alert!) Mickey beats the villains. Seriously, the Harlem Globetrotters would kill for that streak.

• Epcoyt and Tomorrowland prove that Disney should stick to the past. At some point they fixed spaceship earth (the big ball thing) so that it did history instead of predictions. Good call. Ride still sucks, but much less now.

• The "Interactive cartoon" technologies (used in the Monster Inc Laugh Floor and Turtle Talk with Crush) works pretty well. (A voice actor talks with the audience, and the lips move roughly in time with his speech, and he presumably directs the animation somewhat). Thank the maker Imagineers used this technology to add a fart joke for the children.

• And according to the Juxtapositional humor on the laugh floor, I was supposed to bring churros for 200 guests.

• Ah Mulan. Banished to the Chinese Pavilion at Epcoyt.

• The Haunted Mansion still rocks. Now with addtional M.C. Escher!

• EPCOYT stands for Experimental Prototype Community of Yesterday's Tomorrow.

• (My wife insists that was an actual Amish person).

• The kids favorite ride was Søren, a ride through the dismal philosophy of Kierkegaard.

• Most shocking moment — The lost and found got the hat J lost.

• I liked all the rollercoasters (that I got to ride), but the Orange ride of Mission:Space made throwing up seem like a pretty reasonable option. I was never in any serious danger, but I was queasy for a good two hours afterwards.

• I always remember too late that Space Mountain sets of primal "You are going to hit your head" warnings deep in the lizard brain. (Probably from not being able to judge distances/heights of all those girders in the dark).

Update: Oh, one last thought -- Norway has a Viking Ride, China has acrobats and replica Terra Cotta Warriors, and Canada has ... Martin Short. Ye gods.

Since I've got nothing to say regarding new games ...

Redbelt -- A good flick, and one of David Mamet's more uplifting pieces (most characters have their lives trashed). I mean, you have a guy who makes selling timeshares into an interesting play/movie, and now he's writing about hollywood, honor and MMA? [The DVD's extras include a Q&A with Mamet].

Dollhouse -- "Fox shifted to soft-core pornography so gradually, I barely noticed!" I'll stick out the season, because I'm not terribly bright, and I want to see what happens once Joss pens an episode. (If he actually shifts to a "boom-chicka-wa" bass line as his episode's soundtrack, that's good enough for me).

Battlestar Galactica -- Watching this parallels living it: a joyless journey led by those making it up as they go along in the hopes that the rest of the survivors don't notice. I apologize to everyone I introduced this to ...

Saturn's Children -- I like Stross, but I flung aside Halting State with great force. This seems like a romp so far (granted, just started).

Rest In Peace, Patrick McGoohan.

I mean, me? I'm waiting for AAA because the tire shredding was so severe that I can't get it off (and I'm not sure if the rim was damaged).

At least it happened by my house, because this would be 10 times worse on a highway, waiting an hour or two without the sweet release of web-surfing.

So consider this an open "Instead of gaming, I get to deal with the real world" bitch session.

Begin ... now!

I saw Chad Orzel's two-word lyric quiz and instantly thought of outburst. A great idea, Outburst. It takes something everyone knows, but rotates it orthogonally. Kind of like asking people to name words that have "K" as the fourth letter. You never think about it that way. Anyway, I got none of them right, but I had a few hours drive time so I thought of some. Add your own.

From the following two words, can you name any of these songs? Answer in the comments, but just give a full line from the song...) and feel free to leave more. Hopefully I've put a few gimmes in, but these are surprisingly hard (for me at least).

1. my anaconda
2. protein pill
3. fruit machine
4. hickory stump
5. liar's chair
6. screaming argonauts
7. beat incomplete
8. Doris Day
9. tension wires
10. passionate guy
11. lonely satellite
12. doubly blessed

Although I did play Clans again. Apparently my past life was worse than I thought.

A few months ago I had an idea for a story. Clever, and a bit funny. Then I realized that the only way to explain my idea would be to have two characters discuss it in detail. That's a roundabout way of saying that I just finished the new Neal Stephenson novel, Anathem. I'm not his harshest critic ...

... but suffice it to say that it's a Neal Stephenson novel and I doubt anyone who hated his prior work will like this. Without getting into spoilers, my thoughts:

• The novel makes no effort to sugarcoat ideas. "Show, don't tell" be damned. This isn't new ... everyone remembers the Deliverator, but who can forget 100 pages of Hiro discussing Sumerian language with the Librarian? The "Dialogs" are handled well, but are core dumps of interesting ideas. I wish I could do that. I'd have written my story idea.
• The new vocabulary thing works well during the plot, but gets tedious during the dialogs. I have enough of a time keeping track philosophical schools without having to learn new names for all the major players.
• As usual, it feels like not much happens during the opening. But this feeling only lasted for a bit, and then the plot moved along at a decent clip.
• The ending .... isn't bad. Better than most of his books.
• The ideas (which are what you read N.S. for) are ... novelly presented, I guess. I mean, they are new, but when I went and checked the acknowledgements (which could be considered spoilers) I recognized a few source books, and have skimmed some of them.

I liked it, I'll re-read it.

I'm not really sure how it went away, but my wife's profile is empty and (more importantly) all her documents seem to be gone. The kids were playing on the computer, but disclaim any unusual actions....

Anyway, if anyone has any ideas or howto's, please email them to me. There are some fairly ominous error messages involved. I'm scouring google, but not optimistic.

Thanks

Since you asked, some of the reasons I hate cruises.

• I'm not particularly prone to seasickness, but it does bother my sleep.
• I hate the beach (mainly the 'out in the sun' part, due to childhood bad burns) and most cruises are intimately associated with beaches. (I've been on Alaskan Cruises, that solved that problem).
• Assuming you don't go with a group, cruises are likely to be intellectual wastelands. I can go to a library much cheaper.
• Despite being one of the staunchest libertarian/capitalists I know, the blatant consumerism is almost enough to make me start reciting Mao, Stalin and Trotsky. I'm not fond of shopping, in general. Combined with
• Mandatory tipping (not included in the upfront fees, but tacked onto your bill, and amounting to an additional %10, above the automatic 15% added to purchases) also annoys me. As it happens, I thought the amounts for our waiters and stewards were about right.
• 8 hours in a port is not enough to do anything but the most touristy of stuff. I could see spending a week in the Caymans, even though I hate the beach (since I could snorkel and do other things).

The following may just be particular to Carnival Cruises, who (I am told) are sub-par.

• The food was OK in general, but could in no way be described as good. A few items were quite good (the Lobster Bisque stood out). They also had the worst cheesecake I've ever had. (I thought Cheesecake was foolproof, and could never be worse that OK. I was proven wrong). Bad fudge. Overcooked Salmon (according to my wife), terrible chicken nuggets (according to the kids).
• Just to re-iterate ... I ate deserts liberally (not at every meal, but every day) and nobody will describe me as thin. I also ate breakfasts (which I normally skip). I lost a pound last week, despite only spending 30 minutes in the gym. (The rocking did bother me on the machines, and I didn't like the idea of messing with enough free weight to be useful).
• The piped in music during dinner would repeat over the course of a meal. And it consisted entirely of Andrew Lloyd Weber and the Beatles, as interpreted by Zamfir.
• The house bands were also not allowed to adjust their playlist from night to night. (They played well enough, so I assume they know more songs). If you had offered the poker table an option to shut the band up for $500/night, I suspect it would have been bought.
• While I like poker, it was the only thing I could find to do, and I don't like it to the tune of 3 hours a day (about what I averaged). I was bored with it by the last day or two. I would have been bored sooner, but the people were pretty amusing.
• I hadn't realized until today just how badly the smoking affected me (and the kids, too). It's omnipresent.
• Embarkation took 1.5 hours. They had a single metal detector/X ray machine. (This was Carnival, not the goverment). Debarkation, which required almost nothing from Carnival and instead went through the notoriously efficient US Government (Border Security, Customs, etc) took 30 minutes.

In the interests of fairness, what I liked:

• The kids activities were good (judging from the kids reaction) and had no extra costs for the most part (beyond late night babysitting fees).
• Offering unlimited sodas for $40 to a programmer is a deal that probably cost them money.
• The stewards folded up towel animals and left them in the room to surprise the kids. If you delight my children, you've gone a long way towards placating me. (They sold a book on how to do it ... it was overpriced, but we bought two. One to give to my brother for his kids). I especially liked the scorpion holding the TV remote.
• The casino waitstaff were efficient and genuinely funny. They got tipped.

Just a note to indicate that I finally got past Suffragette City (Hard) on Rock Band. Needless to say, the next 10 songs were all beaten on the first try. Enter Sandman and that Smashing Pumpkins song are the new stumbling blocks.

Boom Blox? Never heard of it. Enjoy the 4th.

Kung Fu Panda -- Pretty good if you can stand the 'Jack Black fanboy' schtick.

Wall*E -- An OK Pixar movie, which makes it better than most, but I we're not sold on getting the DVD.

And, if you want a full paragraph or so.

KFP -- No pop culture filler (yea!), some really good actual (non-CGI) animation ala Samurai Jack, decent action sequences (given that it's CGI). Jack Black. You should know whether you like that last part or not. Several good jokes.

Wall*E -- Not nearly as much of a kid flick as I expected. My son (5 years old) was begging to leave with 30 minutes to go. I think it probably could have been trimmed a bit, although I enjoyed the length it didn't feel as tight. I suspect my daughter enjoyed it, but she wasn't raving. Action sequences weren't as strong as the Incredibles, but how could they be? (Ditto Character Development/Ratatouille or Monsters, Inc or Nemo) On the other hand, I'm comparing it to the other movies by the greatest animation studio of my lifetime .... and the short was pretty good, too.

BTW, you Koldfoot should do a passenger poll for every movie.

I almost turned Cloverfield off several times, but persevered. Not bad, not great. I spent part of the movie trying to remember where I'd seen the Bad Robot logo before. (Guess who gave up on Lost in season 1).

If anyone says that schools are desperate for science & math teachers, well.... Here's a hint, desperate people don't make someone pony up $5,000 for the privilege of taking a pay cut. Desperate people, I don't know, offer more money.

I finally watched Sarah Connor Chronicles (last week or two). A nice series, considering that absolutely nothing resolves. So, which was better, 9 hours of terminator or this one comic? Tough call.

I haven't given up hope for the Orioles, although if they just stay at .500 that will be the first time in a decade. Here's hoping. I'm not watching basketball. I'll leave that to others.

Still haven't started watching BSG season 4. (OK, saw the 1st ep). No spoilers in comments, please.

The Carebears would totally smash the smurfs in a fight. But could the Carebears make Batman happy? Tough call. I say yes, assuming they had a chance encounter (and he wasn't stalking them for some reason ... then they're toast).

My daughter has informed me that Pokemon are real, under the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics. The kid who manages to get into that world will probably be the best trainer of all history, using their encyclopedic knowledge gleaned from CCGs and TV in this world (instead of having to traipse around the world to gain knowledge there).

I heard multiple Kabuki Actors this weekend (in multiple locations) make the exact same exasperated comment -- "It's a metal detector." (Said after a person went through, got beeped, and then made a show of pointing to their multiple necklaces/bracelets/etc). I almost had sympathy for them, too.

Is there a single word for Kabuki actor? (Probably). Kabukist? Kabukijin?

A mere two weeks after getting to Kaiju on Hard, I have now beaten my first song on that level. I rock and/or roll. Now come the harder songs in the set. (Granted, I'm only playing every 2nd or 3rd day, but sheesh).

The SABGers spent today playing Rock Band. I sat in on a song or two. As for our cri de coeur ("Board games are social") ... put a stake into it. Videogames have been social for at least a decade, but I now realize just how far they've come.

Me? I was playing Race. But having the game on in the background was nice. And I shall speak no evil of any game that uses Bowie (Suffragete City) and BOC (Don't Fear the Reaper). Downloading additional songs (from XBox Live) makes this a killer app, in my books.

Although it could use more cowbell. J said the next version should add Dance Dance Revolution mats for go-go dancing (groupies).